Brand new book about Community Building from Eve Berry! 

All the previous episodes can be found here: Community Building Podcast (all episodes)

Discover the workshop that can accelerate your personal growth!

My assumption is that you are interested in developing yourself.

If that is true, then you have probably been reading books, attending seminars, you may even have counseled a psychologist or two. And yet, you may still feel that something is missing. At least, that was my sentiment.

How do you find it yourself? Would you want something more transformational? Something more effective?

he Community Building Workshop can be the answer for you!

hat makes it more effective than other ways to learn and grow?" - you may understandably want to ask.

et me get into that!

Here is the secret of our souls: our souls have a self-healing ability.

his means two things: I can’t heal you or fix you. This is important to know, because no matter how much I know about psychology, theology, therapy or anything else I can’t possibly be efficient trying to fix you up.

elieve it or not, this is something most people and even most psychologists or trainers don’t understand. We can only make matters worse by trying to fix someone up.

ll right! So why would you need to be around people then, if your soul can heal and grow itself?

ur souls can grow and heal themselves in a highly respectful and safe environment.
Being together with others in an outstandingly respectful and safe atmosphere brings out the best in you and others. Your soul can and will feel liberated. It will grow and clean itself from the inside out.

This is very different from a seminar

This workshop is not about putting something inside of you. This is a highly experiential and a highly emotional process and experience. This is why it accelerates your growth. Because it is emotional. Nothing changes really in our lives and actions until something affects our emotions.

e are not going to lecture you. (This is not to say that providing content has no value at all. - you are reading such a piece right now :) ) Content is valuable at a certain point in our development. It kind of gives us the ladder we need or want to climb up on.

e are going to provide you a safe environment where you can do two things:

  • focus on yourself and your own inner processes (thought and emotional processes)

  • you can share things with others if you really feel a need to without any pressure or solicitation from our part (participation can be verbal and non-verbal)

n other words: we are going to listen to you! Listen to you and be there for you for two or three days!

This is not something you normally get at a seminar, do you?
Do the speakers bring value? Yes, usually they do!

ut I can tell you this: it is hard to compare a seminar to a Community Building experience in terms of how much growth and positive change can bring you.

nformation is good. If you can apply it, it will bring you results.

owever more often than not a presentation doesn’t speak to where you are at that very moment. Can you relate?

ven when a famous motivational speaker is trying to add value to you, he or she can’t possibly “meet” everyone at the same time.

his is why a CB Workshop can be very different: the focus is on you.

But not only on you! So you don’t need to perform or entertain others. You can relax and be yourself while you are still an equally important participant like all the other participants.

nd you will learn about yourself and about leading a group to consensus.

ou are going to learn about individual and group responsibility.

ou are going to learn about listening. You are going to learn about initiative. You are going to learn about conflict resolution. And all this is going to be practical and experiential.

ts experiential nature makes it lively and effective!

The role of the facilitators

There is no written-in-advance script! There is no boss or commander to save you from chaos. But there are facilitators that make sure everyone’s safe!

Important: the roles of the facilitators are to provide safety and provide feedback. Facilitators do something few people can or are willing to do: will be fully present, listen to each participant, follow patiently the evolution of the group and make the difficult decisions whether to make an intervention or not.

I have to tell you this: I haven’t met anyone else who exhibited and provided this level of patience and attention that some good facilitators provide. It is a challenging task. It is much easier to present, to talk and tell. It is much more challenging to patiently assist a group until a group realizes what helps and what doesn’t.

ust like a parent with his or her child: the only reasonable thing to do is to be patient with your kid when he/she is trying to learn a new skill and takes one step at a time towards adulthood over the years. We sometimes wish they grew up (or at least understood something) overnight. It doesn’t work that way, does it?

n the other hand you might also know how good it is when you can discover and experience something for yourself without anyone rushing you.

So, I can only tell you what I would say to my own two sisters: this is the best thing that happened to me and this is what I am most thankful for.

Do two or three days sound like a lot to you?

Time: two or three days are a significant amount of time. No doubt about it.

nd I wish I could tell you that we can divide it up into bite size pieces and give it to you one hour at a time.

owever, this is not about sharing some content. This is an emotional process and it takes a critical mass of:

  • participants and

  • time

It takes time to gather our own experiences. This cannot be rushed. And we certainly don’t want to rush you.

The experience says that it takes two days to be able to experience all the four stages of group development. In the case of the Community Building Skills Workshop a third day is added to reflect on the whole process.

You are probably a busy person since you are a motivated and ambitious individual. So we understand that taking two or three days off is a serious thing to ask.

However, it is worth it! You’ll gain more time! This is a good investment when it comes to time management! This is not a tiring seminar. You’ll gain months in your personal growth journey without the need to form any new habit!

n the other hand: although this process can be challenging your soul will feel reinvigorated. Don’t be surprised if you’ll need less sleep during or after the event (for a day or two!). You’ll probably feel energized and renewed!

once I am mentioning sleeping, I can tell you, that
I sleep better ever since I attended my first Community Building events. Somehow it has given me an improved peace of mind and calmness.

nd it can save you a year or two in therapy (if you have a need for it) and grow you like months worth of leadership seminars!

A few words about problems and problem-solving

I heard a very successful person say this:

‘Problems are a sign of life, and life is a sign of problems’

o I guess it is safe to assume you have problems or you are going to have some in the next few months.

nd you know what: I don’t even have to know what your problem is for me to be confident that a Community Building experience will help you with that. (This is not to say we would not want to hear about it if you want to share while in the workshop).

o you know why?

he way to solve a problem is to become a bigger person than the problem. We cannot eliminate it, we can just grow above it.

And the safe and emotionally supportive environment a Community Building Event or Workshop provides for you will help you grow emotionally.

ou may not even be able to articulate or put into words your problem. It doesn’t matter. The beauty of this process is that it doesn’t give you intellectual answers (like do this, or do that).
It provides emotional support!

nd once you feel heard, understood and accepted you will instantly be able to feel more hopeful.

an we actually guarantee that you will feel heard and understood? Not quite 100%.

lthough our whole focus is on listening so the chances are really good (around 90-95%) it also depends on whether the group will be ready.

And the safe and emotionally supportive environment a Community Building Event or Workshop provides for you will help you grow emotionally.

What this workshop is about is 180 degrees in the opposite direction of controlling behaviour. So we do depend on the gifts of life (and gifts of community). When we talk about people's emotions and attitudes we have no control over those things, whatsoever.

However, those gifts we usually find under such safe and respectful circumstances are usually more valuable than anything we could give you in a controlled and guaranteed way.

This is not like a team building event

When I used to work for a multinational company we went to team-building weekends.

 have not been to many so there could be some better ones, but based on my experience and what I hear and read from such events, these are basically about doing fun things together in the hope that coworkers come to know each other and they will work better together in the office.
(or that those fun and positive experiences together will make working together more fluid)

Well, an out of the office activity won't increase the productivity in the office if the quality of communication and the quality of community does not improve.

he challenging part of making a group of people work well together is that they have to really know and care about each other. They have to be able to address difficult issues and come up with solutions.

But for them to be able to do that, they have to communicate on an emotional level. They have to allow themselves to be vulnerable.

This is challenging because usually we don't like to hear others' problems or to assist to others' tears. So our natural tendency is to avoid and shy away from difficult discussions or conflicts that involve vulnerability and open sharing.

We tend to think, that this is that person's personal problem, we cannot do anything about it, and we just want to have fun anyway, so why get into those.

So, because people want to have fun, the company tries to bring them to a team building event where there are different fun activities that the group does together.

owever, by avoiding difficult issues, by avoiding vulnerability and avoiding deep sharing people don't really get to know each other better, and won't be in a position to solve difficult issues and conflicts.

We like it or not, for us to create a more productive team, we have to build deeper relationships among team members.

eeper relationships make better agreements and better cooperation possible. These can, in fact, improve productivity.

Community Building facilitators are great especially because they know how to create the respectful and safe space where truly meaningful and honest communication can take place. One way they do it is, that they model the whole thing. They do lead by example.

e all have our gifts, and we all have our limitations. But we cannot really find out about these when our main concern is not to look weak or stupid and must have fun and have a good mood at all times.

Say goodbye to the biggest saboteur and see your possibilities skyrocket as a leader

"What is the biggest saboteur?” -you might ask. Let me answer this with the following quote from the number one leadership expert of the world:

"Insecurity sabotages more leaders than anything else”
- John C. Maxwell

If you agree, have a look at the following statements and see if you can relate to any of them:

  • You don't initiate and don't try new things because you are not sure it will work out.

  • You don't initiate because you are not sure what people will say.

  • You don't allow people to come closer and build a tighter connection with you because you are afraid that people may hurt you.

  • You avoid initiating a confrontation or conflict resolution because you are not sure you can handle

  • You don't invest in the development of your people because you are afraid that they might leave your company and you end up losing on the whole deal.

  • You don't empower people because you are afraid that they might make some mistakes.

  • You don't empower people because you are afraid that they may look better than you and they'll get all the praise.

  • You don't empower people because you are afraid that they might take over your position one day.

  • You don't do your best because you are afraid that others will just take advantage of you.

  • You don't open up and admit your mistakes because you are afraid that people may not understand or tolerate your mistakes and will reject you.

All these situations have got a lot to do with insecurity. And Gary Vaynerchuk says this about insecurity: "Insecurity is a killer.“ Pretty harsh, would you agree?

n a Community Building Workshop you will have lots of opportunities to see what are some of the insecurities others are having. This will very probably be encouraging to you. You'll have a chance to see, that you are not alone with anxiety and uncertainty.

On the other hand, you will be able to share about and hence liberate yourself from some of the emotional challenges you are currently having yourself. So a Community Building Event or Workshop can definitely help you become more secure and confident.

Here are two possible experiences you have a good chance of having:

  1. To realize how much your simple, attentive presence can mean to others
  2. To have others be there for you even when it is not so easy or pleasant for them

Both of these experiences will strengthen your sense of self-worth and security.

Improve your quality of life by getting better at emotional intimacy

I know that men, in general, don't like to talk about emotions. But you see, we can get ahead where others say "no".

Furthermore this is not about your position, power or prestige. So if these are the things you are mainly interested in, this may not be for you.

his is for people who are also interested in their personal relationships, family life and their emotional well-being

I can think of two reasons why becoming better at emotional intimacy can make you a happier person.

at your very own personal level, getting closer to your own emotions can help you find your own path. In other words, it can help you find your own passions and calling.

ngelika Gulder, who wrote a book about finding the job that makes you happy says, that women are better at discovering their dream activity, while men are better at finding the strategies to actually navigate themselves into the desired occupation.

The reason men are not so good at finding their calling or passions (aka dream occupation/job) on the other hand is, that they are not so intimate with their own emotions.

o building a stronger connection and a more intimate relation with your own emotions will help you find your calling and have a more meaningful and fulfilling career. It will also help you with emotional intelligence overall.

A Community Building Event or Workshop are mainly about processing emotions, so it can definitely help you with emotional closeness.

Second: it is important for your marital relationship.

f you read books like The Secret of Staying in Love by John Powell or Secrets to Lasting Love by Gary Smalley you'll know that emotional intimacy is really important for a fulfilling marriage.

ithout emotional intimacy the whole relationship can become dull and boring.

hat's more, emotional intimacy is indispensable for solving misunderstandings and disagreements. As Gary Smalley writes: opinions and expectations create conflicts while communicating at the emotional and needs levels opens the door to intimacy.

o, I can only encourage you to check out Community Building for yourself.

Climb the ladder of leadership faster and more successfully

Do you know who is considered to be the number one leadership expert in the world?

r. John C. Maxwell.

o you know what his most popular teaching is?

he Five Levels of Leadership.

If you are any bit interested in the subject of leadership, you will have probably easily answered those questions whithout my help.

nd in this case you also know what those five levels are:

1st Level: Position – people follow you because they have to (key word: rights).

2nd Level: Permission
– people follow you because they want to (key word: relationships).

3rd Level: Performance
– people follow you because what you did for the organization (key word: results)

4th Level: People development
– people follow you because of what you did for them (key word: reproduction)

5th Level: Pinnacle/Personality
– people follow you for who you are and what you stand for (key word: respect)

Here is an interesing thing Dr. Maxwell says in his Five Levels of Leadership book (which I do recommend for you):

"Getting from Level 1 to Level 2 requires the greatest personal development”
(page 79 in the version I have)

I would have thought that getting from Level 4 to Level 5 or something like that. :)

nyway. My question to you is this: would you like to climb up this ladder of leadership?

ould you like to become a relationship-oriented (2nd Level) leader and have a high employee (or business partner) retention rate?

ased on my experience Community Building can be the most efficient tool for you to grow personally and as a leader.