My first two experiences with Community Building and my journey into thankfulness

The first CB event I went to was in Oxford, UK in 2004. I used to live and work in Hungary as a Romanian citizen and neither of these two countries were part of the EU back then, so I needed to apply for a visa, which is a burocratic thing I tend to avoid if not absolutely necessary. (Since then both are part of the EU but not the UK – who would have thought :) )

After procrastinating to attend such an event for a year or so, I finally asked for a visa, did all they asked me to do and pay, and off I went. That was the first time when I travelled by plane and it was my first time to the UK too, by the way.

Well, the event did not go as I expected. I had read The Different Drum, based on which I did have some preconceptions.

I was pretty disappointed to be frank. I also told them about my disappointment. It was a silent event, there was not much agitation, conflicts or fights that could have been followed by a wonderful reconciliation and sense of community. It felt like, that not much happened. (about the reasons why it turned out this way I found out later, and I'll probably share about those findings and lessons another time)

However, during the following two-three months I could realize that I was healing and growing as never before.

I don't mean to say that I had not had any emotional breakthroughs prior to this event. As I had read books, attended seminars and listened to materials I had actually experienced some progress here and there.

However, after this first CB event repressed emotions were bubbling up consistently and I experienced increased liberation from those. So I had to acknowledge that those two days had a pretty good effect on me.

So for this reason I decided to go again the following year. The next year I applied for a visa again and this time I also had to borrow some money to be able to go, which I don't like to do either. I did what I needed to do, and off I flew again to Oxford. (This had nothing to do with the world-famous university, but the guy who organized these lived in Oxford)

This time wasn't quite as described in the book either (there was no outward chaos or fight, it was a rather silent event), but I experienced tremendous healing nonetheless. I wished it had gone on and on and I regreted that it came to an end. It was a profound experience for me and it was after this second experience that I became really excited about this whole Community Building. It has been my biggest passion ever since.

A few words about thankfulness

After the event I had to fly back on Monday morning and spent the night at the airport so I did not sleep orderly. On Tuesday morning when I woke up, however, my predominant feeling was „Man, I am so thankful”. I really felt a strong sense of thankfulness.

Before that it was hard for me to feel thankful. I was taught to give thanks to five things in my life daily, but it was challenging for me to even come up with those five things. Eventually I could rationally find things that I could -or rather should- be thankful for, but I did not feel it. So I did it by saying it, but it was not very authentic. As I think back now, I think that I had been hurting too much to be thankful.

Thankfully CB has somehow given me back the joy of living.

What about you?

I don't know about you. Maybe you have been raised in a highly functional family by caring and loving parents. You may feel, that you are really thankful for your parents and the life you can have now. And if this is the case I am happy for you!

Furthermore in such a case you probably don't need this nearly as much as I needed it. (or maybe I am just getting too simplistic here)

So why would you want to consider participating in such a workshop, then?

Well, you may have some people in your organization who have attitude or emotional problems, or simply could take advantage of some emotional support. You may want to think about those who often get in an argument, are hard to get along with or always look for someone to dump on. Or just have self-esteem and confidence issues.

A Community Building experience can probably help them, especially if they seem to possess some desire and want to achieve more in their lives. So you may just want to check it out for yourself to see where you could send your people. But it is not just for healing and helping people emotionally. It is also for building meaningful connections that make a relationship-oriented organization and leadership possible.

p.s.: consider staying in touch by signing up below so that you can find out in time when a Community Building Workshop is organized and to learn more about the different ways we can be of service to your organization.