I read once about this, it is not original with me. The only problem is that I am not sure who was the original author of it. If I remember it correctly it was Andy Stanley.
The two ways our souls operate are named the followings:
The success mode: Success is about goals and reaching those goals. The success mode is when we have all the necessary resources, skills and partners that make progress and success possible.
The fruit-bearing mode: When things don't seem to be working. When I don't have what it takes to reach the goals I want. This is when disappointment, frustration and hardships are in order.
This is when, provided I have the right humility and willingness to endure, I can grow in understanding, empathy, goodness, patience and other positive character traits as a result of my openness to learn from my insuccess and because I may have some emotional support from those who care about me.
Of course these two are not necessarily totally isolated from each other. Even when I successfully complete a project, the harder moments encountered along the way make me grow as a person.
So, why am I writing about this?
Well, a community building event is mainly about the fruit-bearing mode. It is an emotional deep dive. It is about disarming ourselves, taking our masks off, admitting that there are things that give us some challenges and problems. It is about openness and vulnerability.
Our main goal with this event is to give you emotional support for your daily challenges in the hope that you will have a better life quality and you can reach more goals of your own. Our goal is not to give you any presentation, advice, secret success techniques, know-hows or business opportunities.
A community building event is also about a task, though. Our task at hand: building a sense of community among ourselves. So, we do have a goal. And, as you may very well know, a goal always takes some concentrated and well-guided effort.
This is not like entertainment. This is not about comfortably watching others perform on a movie canvas.
This is about creating our own production and you are invited to fulfill one of the main roles of this production just as all other participants are. You are all going to star in it.
True community is a group of all leaders and a group of all leaders can be achieved only when all participants take responsibility for themselves and for the success of the group. This undertaking is like climbing a mountain together. Frustration and disappointment are often part of the journey.
Let me present to you the guidlines that -based on decades of experience- participants need to follow in order to reach the really uplifting, life-changing and transformative fourth stage, called true community:
1. Be on time for each session
2. Wear name tags
3. Say your name before you speak
4. Speak personally and specifically using „I” statements.
5. Speak when moved to speak, don't speak when not moved
6. Express displeasure in the group
7. Be emotionally present with the group
8. Participate verbally or non verbally
9. Commit to "hang in there"
10. Be inclusive, avoid exclusivity
11. Be responsible for your success.
12. Respect confidentiality
These guidlines can have some variations depending on the style of the facilitators but they are esentially the same.
My question to you is: are you willing to follow these? Are you ready to give a decent try?
You know, we cannot create a safe and respectful space without your cooperation.
So: if, for any reasons, you don't want (don't believe in or are not ready) to follow the guidlines then I can't recommend this event and workshop for you. In fact, I would like to ask you not to come.
Does it sound fair to you?
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