Thoughts on the differences between judging and discerning

Thoughts on the differences between judging and discerning

I have been thinking and struggling with the issue of "not to be judgmental".

s leaders, as you very well know, we do need to make up our minds about things and about people. We have to be good stewards of our time and our people.

o we do have to gauge people and people's abilities up. For example, we cannot hire and keep everyone in the name of inclusivity, even when their performances and abilities don't match their salaries.

As another example, I also have to decide whether partnering up with someone is a good idea and has the potential to work out.

n a Community Building circle we also need to make some evaluations about people. Especially facilitators need to evaluate whether someone is following the guidlines, whether he or she is open and authentic, or what stage the group is in, and whether an intervention is needed or not.

ne of the group's and the facilitators' challenging jobs is to see if someone should be sent away. It is a rare occurance, but even though inclusivity is a major value in CB, sometimes including someone can hurt or even destroy the group, so excluding him or her is the smaller bad.

So the question is: am I being judgmental saying that someone is not a good enough candidate to participate? Or, I am simply discerning well and I am responsible?

After being hit by this issue a few times I have finally managed to come up with some viewpoints on the differences between being judgmental and discerning responsibly.
 By the way: the latter is an indispensable leadership quality

am not sure they are all correct but here are my thoughts:



Judgments are usually spoken (outward)

Discernment happens in a silent evaluation (inward)

It is filled with negative emotions (anger, hatred, frustration)

It comes from a peaceful and sane realization

The judger depreciates the criticized person (sees only the bad in the judged person)

The discerner appreciates the other person (takes into account his/her strengths or potential too)

Tends to assume bad intentions

It comes from empathy and understanding of the other's abilities or situation

It is made based on a superficial impression (after one sharing of thought or action of the other)

It is made by a person with experience and expertise after careful evaluation

It hurts the judged person

It does not hurt the other person

It is made without providing a chance and/or education

It is made after a chance and education had been provided

It is based on generalization or prejudices

It is based on the experiences related to that person

What are your thoughts? What would you add? Would you cross out anything?

p.s.: consider staying in touch by signing up below: